short sheeting

~ Written during a visit in North Dakota ~

My name is Rick Neumann. My daughter, Sr. Christina Marie Neumann, asked me to write my experience with short sheeting a bed.

Several years ago when Sr. Christina was first professed as a sister she and a novice decided to play a prank on my wife and me. They had been at the Hankinson convent but later that day they were going to the Rugby convent. They knew we would be coming to Hankinson to spend the night and to later go to Rugby to visit them.

So the joke was on. We were going to be given the best guest room in the house. We refer to it as the “Hankinson Hilton.” It’s actually a suite of rooms. Anyhow, they short-sheeted our bed. If your bed has ever been short-sheeted, you know it can be an unpleasant experience. After traveling four hours to get to Hankinson and several hours of visiting and playing cards with the sisters, we were tired and went to go to bed. We pulled back the blankets and put our tired bones into the bed. But we didn’t get very far. Our feet could only extend 18 inches! “Oh no, this isn’t good. I just want to get to sleep!” It took several seconds for me to figure out what had happened. Our bed was booby trapped. So we got up and fixed the bed and had a pleasant night’s sleep.

The next morning after breakfast, we were on our way to Rugby to see the two perps of the crime. Along the way, we tried to come up with a way to get even. It came to us…We would weave a story that would cause them a great deal of worry.

When we got to Rugby, they asked about our visit to Hankinson. We talked as if nothing had happened to us but expressed to them that there was an investigation going on at the motherhouse. They asked about it, and we explained that the Fargo Bishop had come for a surprise visit, and since he was far more honored than us, he was given the “Hankinson Hilton” for the night. When he went to bed he had a bad experience and was pretty steamed.

The look on the two young sisters’ faces was priceless. It only lasted a few seconds until they realized we were teasing but it was worth it.

Publisher’s Note: Anyone wanting instructions for the proper methodology of short-sheeting may email me at: sr.christinaosf@gmail.com.